How to FULLY enjoy Christmas when struggling with and around food!
How nervous do holiday celebrations make you? Knowing that you will spend the evening around huge amounts of food, perhaps already worried that you will feel out of control. Feeling pressure to truly be present with your family and other loved ones and already being preoccupied with mainly the food other than the people you will spend the night with. Moments of celebrations are often stressful times for people struggling with Binge Eating Disorder.
I know it is tough. Just like so many other subjects around BED, this also is a not-often-talked-about topic. We have the expectations that celebrations should be fun and we ‘should’ have a good time. But these moments can feel very triggering. Having a good game plan can therefore make a huge difference.’
Try everything in small bits
Some amazing advice I got from my teacher is to first have a little bit of everything. During big parties like Christmas, the table is often filled with all different dishes. We may feel overwhelmed about what we would like to have. To first try a bit of everything that seems appealing to you, can be a great start! After this try-out, you can decide which dishes you liked the most and you would like to have a bit more of.
I recognized for myself this was a real game-changer. I could still taste everything and then just choose what I prefered to eat more of. It made me not feel restrictive, but also helped me to stay present with the food I was eating. Really tasting and seeing which I liked the most.
2. Pay attention for the little moments in between.
I fully understand you don’t want to be just focussed on your food, when your whole family is around you. You want to talk with them and in most gatherings we like to do this over food. Most families stay at the table for hours, eating and talking.
I always talk about the importance of connecting to your food, in order to satisfy ourselves with what we are putting into our mouth. When we don’t pay attention, it is often that we overeat and we don’t notice the signs of our bodies when it has enough.
During evenings like this, it is all about the moments in between. The moments where you are not in conversation, when a new dish is served and people are more silent for a moment, a toilet visit, just a little moment you take to focus on yourself. Take a breath.
Having these little moments, even just for a few seconds, to tune in. To ask your body what it wants or needs, to look around and see what feels right. Do you want to try something else? Did you have enough? Are you thirsty maybe? Do you want to take a little break?
It can be so helpful to ask yourself these questions during the dinner. Especially: ‘What do you need right now.’ can be a powerful one.
3. Take your time.
Like I said before; most families gather around the dinner table, to stay there for hours on end. Talking, eating, drinking.. The main event of the celebration is the food. One thing to remind yourself of is: There is time. Since the whole evening, dishes will be served, there is no reason to rush. Perhaps you want to start off slow, just taking a small plate. Or you take a few breaks, knowing you can always have more if you wish.
Often just this notion, that food is available to you, can ease things. We often tend to stress, feeling like this is the time to eat and afterwards we don’t have the opportunity anymore. Sometimes this is related to our childhood, where we had to finish our plate in a certain time.
4. Share
One of the things which are most helpful, whenever you feel nervous around food, is to share. Share it with someone you love and trust. Somebody who will support you, perhaps even the one sitting next to you. The moment we speak it out loud, we expose it into the light and often the fear loses its strength. It becomes part of the whole and is no longer locked up within our minds.
Make sure you chose a person to share with that will be respectful and loving and make you feel heard.
5. Wear the right clothes.
Yes we all want to wear something beautiful on these events. We want to look dressed up and often that means wearing something tight and not as comfortable.
One of the bigger shifts I have made in my life is to wear more comfortable clothes and I can tell you now: There is a perfect middle ground. You can wear a beautiful dress, which also allows space to breath.
We are sitting on a chair, sometimes for hours at a time, and we want to make sure our digestive system has room to do its work. It is also so important that we can breath all through our chest and belly. It gives us this sense of relaxation. (So lose the belt, sister!)
So find a dress or outfit which you love and where your body can move in freely.
I wish you a beautiful beautiful Christmas and a very happy exciting New Year, welcoming 2020!
And whenever you are facing some stress around these holiday events, know you are not alone. Reach out whenever you need someone to share with and know you are so so strong and capable!! SO much love to you!
XX Iza
