Letting Go Of Perfection

Perfection has always been a big concept in my life. Instead of steadily building up, I wish to fix, to shift radically and never look back. To say: This is what I am going to do from now on and THAT IS THAT.

I found out, in these days, life doesn’'t tend to work that way. Perhaps we are most of the time not wired for instant and radical change. For instantly being the way we desire to be, instantly doing what we desire to do or instantly being VERY GOOD at anything we set our mind too.

Our mind need practice. Our body needs practice too, with whatever we set out to do.

Probably our hearts needs some practice as well.

I have many ideas in my head of what I should be like. I shouldn’'t FEEL some of the things I feel, first of all. Things like jealousy, feelings like fear or sadness.

‘I shouldn’'t FEEL some of the things I feel’

In our society we make a great distinction between positive and negative feelings. We all try to feel as much of the positive and as little of the negative. And whenever we do experience the negative, we look for ways to change them.

How can I feel better right now? How can I be happier? What do I need in order to feel good again?

A while ago, I realized ‘feeling your feelings and moving through them‘ is a gradual process. After we recognize the feeling, we want to allow some space for it to be there. To acknowledge the existence of it. To perhaps even embrace and send love to the vulnerable part of you who is feeling this way.

This was a great step for me, as I now allowed my feelings to unfold a bit more and I let them step on to the stage in my mind, to tell their story.

And so they did.

Photo by Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash

The sadness came to share with me who I missed and loved and what I wished in my life which was not there. The fear came to tell me what I was scared of loosing or anxious to experience.

The jealousy told me what I desired to create in- and outside of me, and what I didn’'t fully accept about myself. Insecurity told me all the reasons why I thought I was not good enough and how that hurt.

‘The sadness came to share with me who I missed and loved’

I found myself feeling and crying and releasing A LOT.

Meditating, sitting in nature and journalling all the time, about EVERYTHING I moved through. It was like a river within me, that just kept pouring water from the sea into its streams. Never ending.

‘It was like a river within me, that just kept pouring water from the sea into its streams. Never ending.’

I start to think this is what the desire for perfection brings with it. Striving to be perfect in feeling your feelings and therefore looking for a way to FIX ourselves out of it. To feel ourselves out of the feeling, back to happiness, empowerment and greatness. As soon as possible.

Perfection is a concept our minds created, but it is not a natural occurrence.

Just like anything is nature, nothing exist in this moment-to-moment stability and perfection. Anything in life is ever changing and evolving and moving from one form on to the next. Constantly being reshaped. The way leaves grow and dry out and fall off again The way the tide is always changing. The fact that no flame of fire is ever the same.

In a way you could say that zoomed out that is what perfection is. A new perspective on Perfection could very well be this cyclic movement of nature as a whole. Which is at no moment the same, but reveals all the colors, shapes and sizes throughout time.

‘Perfection as we were taught, is a pure waste of time.’

Perfection as we were taught, is a pure waste of time. Trying to find emotional stability zoomed in like we normally are (believing we should only experience certain positive emotions), is unattainable. Perfection zoomed out, considering we are nothing different from weather or the tide of the ocean, can be LIFE-CHANGING new concept.

So just like ebb and flow, we are ever changing. And instead of going after all these ways to stabilize these tides within ourselves, let’s find acceptance within out ever-evolving nature. In no minute you are the same you and that is the nature of what it means to be a human being.

Not looking for that perfection or internal stability within a moment, but rather being on our way to be happier and more loving purely by accepting everything within and outside of ourselves as our journey unfolds itself.

XX

Iza