Working with the Multifaceted Aspects of Our Identity: A Powerful Technique for Therapeutic Transformation

3 min

At With Ease, holistic therapy often involves working with the theory that we have various aspects of identity within us.

These identities encompass specific thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors, and they influence how we react to situations. Each identity acts as a unique lens through which we view the world and respond to different scenarios.

For example, when we feel anxious, this might be attributed to an "anxious identity." This identity may hold beliefs about ‘losing loved ones’ or have certain fears about how such losses could occur. Because of this, we might respond with heightened anxiety or nervousness during conflicts with loved ones in our lives.

At With Ease, we identify these aspects to shed light on why situations unfold as they do and why we react the way we do. From this understanding, we explore which identity we would prefer to respond from.

Replacing does not work

Working with identities is not about replacing one identity with another. Instead, it serves as a framework or ritual to help us approach challenging narratives with less resistance and manage situations with greater softness and clarity. By characterizing our identities, we can more easily detach from behaviors that no longer serve us or the resistance we feel towards certain experiences (e.g., feeling insecure in social settings and becoming lost in our own thoughts during a party).

A process of transformation

Additionally, working with identities can also be seen as a process of transformation. Sometimes, we genuinely want to shift our focus from one identity to another that better serves us. For example, we might wish to feel less insecure or less fearful. We cannot simply let go of something; we can only replace it.

Merely stating "I am not sad" when we are experiencing sadness usually doesn’t help much. By fully acknowledging and focusing on the story that occupies our mind—treating it like a character on stage presenting its narrative rather than pushing it into the shadows—we reveal that it’s not a ghost that is in the closet at all. It’s simply parts of ourselves that once didn’t receive what they needed. These are aspects we find difficult to face because we were once told they were less desirable or wanted.

Thus, the process within holistic therapy at With Ease is very much about integration. We integrate the stories we tell ourselves with where we are now, creating more space to consider how we want to move forward.