Your Guide to an Amazing Massage Session at Home
You don’t need a massage table, or expert hands to give a nourishing massage.
With a few simple materials, a quiet space, and a willingness to slow down and connect, you have everything you need.
Whether you're offering this to your partner or receiving it yourself, massage can be a beautiful ritual that supports the nervous system, deepens intimacy, and brings you back into your body.
All materials you’ll need:
Set the space intentionally. A few small preparations can make all the difference:
Massage oil – You can start with something you already have at home, like coconut or sesame oil. (see the list of oils down below)
A sheet that can get oily – Lay this out on the bed or floor to protect your surface.
A blanket – Keep your partner warm and cozy while they receive.
Two towels – For wiping excess oil or adding extra support under the body.
Support under ankles or knees – Use a rolled towel or cushion under the ankles when lying on the back, or under the knees when on the belly to relieve pressure.
Face pillow or DIY option – A professional massage pillow is ideal, but you can also use a travel pillow with a small scarf underneath (to allow airflow), or build a soft V-shape with towels to cradle the face. If none of that works, gently moving the head side-to-side during the session is also an option.
Choosing your oil
In Sanskrit, the word Sneha means both oil and love— something I love to think about.
When choosing an oil, go for cold-pressed, organic options with just one ingredient. Each oil brings its own qualities:
Sesame oil: A warming, balancing oil that works well for most body types. It absorbs beautifully, nourishes the skin, and has a calming effect on the nervous system. Rich in B & E vitamins.
Almond oil: Also warming, almond oil revives the skin and supports brain and nerve function. Make sure it’s cold-pressed sweet almond oil to preserve its natural nutrients.
Coconut oil: Best used in warm climates or during summer. Cooling and antimicrobial, it’s ideal for overheated skin or those prone to inflammation.
Essential oils (optional): A few drops of lavender, frankincense, geranium, or rose can add an extra sensory layer to your session. Always mix with your base oil and double-check they’re safe for topical use.
The pressure number system
One of the simplest ways to build trust during a massage is through clear communication—without interrupting the flow. That’s where the number system comes in.
I am always sharing this tool at the beginning of the couple massage workshops I offer, to make the one giving the massage feel more at ease, as they know how their touch is being experienced.
Ask your partner to rate the pressure on a scale of 1 to 10:
1–3: Very light pressure — you can probably increase.
4–6: Nice, but still space to go deeper.
7: Perfect — this is the sweet spot. Tension releases. The body softens.
8–10: Too much — always adjust immediately.
Encourage your partner to speak up whenever pressure goes above 7. Below 7, it’s simply an invitation — a space where you can choose whether to stay soft or go deeper, depending on your own capacity.
The massage I teach in the couple massage workshops is based on using our bodyweight. This allows us to rest our bodies on our partners without needing to exert extra effort. In this way, we can keep our own cup full while offering something special to the other.
Online Couple Massage Course
If you’d love to dive deeper into massage techniques and learn how to create a nourishing experience for both you and your partner, check out our Online Couple Massage Course.
You’ll get step-by-step video guidance, practical tips, and inspiration to make massage a meaningful ritual in your relationship – all from the comfort of your own home.
Massage as co-regulation
Touch is one of the most direct ways we can support each other’s nervous systems. When you offer your partner or lover a massage, you’re not just soothing their muscles — you’re reminding their body that it's safe to relax. You’re helping them come home to themselves.
🔗 Read here why touch is so important in relationships
Ready to try out a Couple Massage Workshop?
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