Unlocking confidence:

The power of identity osmosis

Seeking confidence has always felt to me like a war-like internal battle. The voice of insecurity can be so convincing, often causing me to drown in doubtful stories that seem too powerful to conquer.

I sought confidence and strived to find it somewhere along my path, looking for moments, people, or achievements to bring it to me. Insecurity, to me, always felt like a little bully who would trip me and let me fall in the midst of a crowd, flat on my face, deflating all that I had built upon.

As I've aged more (can I say that already at 28? haha), I've learned some I believe valuable lessons that I'd love to share with you through the story of a recent Sunday afternoon. These learned skills and tools have brought me more ease around my insecurities and the limiting beliefs that still surface in my mental world.

A Journey of Insecurity

This past weekend, I spent an afternoon with my toes in high grass, sunbathing, and dancing at an Ecstatic Dance event in Mazunte, Mexico. It was one of those weekends where you're so present because everything around you makes you slow down and feel connected and at ease.

My partner and I arrived at the event when the dance had already begun. After setting up our hang-out spot, I walked onto the dance floor. The truest beauty is found in simplicity. This dance floor was nothing more than a sandy area in the middle of the large garden surrounded by palm trees. In the midst of the group of dancing people, I placed my hands on my abdomen and closed my eyes.

‘Ecstatic dance is all about deep connection with oneself through the art of dance‘

Ecstatic dance is all about deep connection with oneself through the art of dance and movement, meaning your 'dance' doesn't have to look like a traditional dance. You can move like a worm on the floor if you'd like, and as you may have noticed if you've been to a dance like this, nobody would look at you weird. We dance for enjoyment, healing, and expression.

I softly began to move my hips and hands, feeling into myself. I felt the stiffness of a few hours of sitting from that morning still residing in my body.

For a moment, I opened my eyes and was instantly met with the rough sounds of my inner critic. She spoke deeply into my body about the limitations I still had, the beauty of the people around me, and my incompetence to ever be equal to them.

‘She spoke deeply into my body about the limitations I still had‘

I shivered, and for a moment, I froze. The thoughts came quicker and quicker, drawing me into old familiar stories of not belonging and not being enough.

One thing I repeat in sessions with clients the MOST is: Curiosity. The instant curiosity enters, criticism softens. So, as Ecstatic dance is one of my healing spaces to work with these topics, I invited Curiosity.

The voice of Curiosity

'How interesting to hear,' she spoke softly. 'I see that so quickly there are so many thoughts, all at once. How interesting. How endearing that you feel like you have to protect yourself from something so fiercely.' She smiled, seemingly untouched by what she heard.

‘The instant curiosity enters, criticism softens‘

'I know this story very well. It is here every single time we enter this type of space, doesn’t it? So what if we would entertain something else now?' She nestled herself inside my shoulders and relaxed them. 'How would it feel if you would be someone who would feel as confident, as free, and even as belonging in this space as anyone here?'

Such a magical question. How would it feel to be that which you yearn to be?

I want to mention here that it happens to be incredibly helpful that ecstatic dance is the type of event where it's not weird to stop dancing suddenly in the middle of a song and just stand there, hands on your heart and eyes closed haha.

I softened into that question and started to imagine. What would that feel like? I opened my eyes and looked around. My eyes met the eyes of a girl swirling around freely in front of me as if her body was not bound by the same physical laws mine were. She smiled and looked away, continuing the magnificent dance that seemed to happen through her.

‘My body without the interference of my mind was already free.’

I closed my eyes again and embodied what I had seen. What could that feel like? I moved my hips in the way she had done, widened my stands, and twirled around slowly. My smile curled up just like hers did. I felt my body open and soften, and it seemed easier and easier to simply listen to the music and follow my body instead of my mind. My body knew where it wanted to go, and how it wanted to dance with the music it was hearing. My body without the interference of my mind was already free.

Identity Osmosis

I'd like to call this concept 'Identity osmosis.' I believe it beautifully encapsulated the power of being influenced by the energy of someone else and can be used to embody a desired state before having that state be your default. After all, we can't control our first responses, but we can influence how we respond to these automations.

‘Practices like this become like a playful acting game‘

Our minds can endlessly loop into these old stories of insecurity and fear. Practices like this become like a playful acting game, which may just turn out to be the most sacred medicine. It's 'fake it until you make it' in the practical and authentic sense.

I believe that we always need to acknowledge our experience. Whatever shows up. With curiosity, we can anchor back into our wisdom and still give a voice to what this part of us moves through. And then from a place of inspiration and awareness, embodying a new kind of state.

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Did you ever try something like this, and how has it worked for you?

Leave your stories in the comments or send me a message!

I would love to hear from you.

much love, Iza