The 3 Statements that changed my life as a holistic therapist
3 min
This week, I would love to share with you three statements that have changed my life as a holistic therapist.
I love to think about ideas and human beings like puzzle pieces, where not every expression of an idea fits every person.
We all know that moment when something is said in such a way that suddenly your world lights up and: you understand.
This idea sticks in your mind, repeating itself in moments when you need it.
It's the statements and ideas that have touched our souls.
The Puzzle of Ideas and People
Throughout my journey, I’ve had many of these moments.
With that I have to add that there have also been many times when someone shared with me ideas which didn’t resonate at all. It almost felt like they were speaking a different language.
The idea didn’t touch me, even though, wrapped in a different package, it might have had a very different effect.
As a massage teacher and holistic therapist, this thought helps me a lot. Not everyone needs to fit the way I share the ideas I share, but I will reach the people who I need to reach.
So, let’s dive into the three statements that have truly changed my life.
‘My Thoughts Are Unable to Move Me’
In 2019, I started a Binge Eating Disorder recovery coaching program because, at that time, I was deeply struggling with overeating.
It was a pre-recorded program, where I followed instructions by watching videos of a therapist.
During one of the first videos, she said, "One important thing to realize when you're dealing with binge eating is that your thoughts are unable to actually make you eat. The most difficult thing to understand is that our thoughts have limits, and healing only happens when we realize this. So, even when the thought ‘I want to have a bowl of chips’ comes up, we don’t have to act upon it."
It wasn’t a lightbulb moment all at once.
Secondly we did this practice. She said: ‘Close your eyes (wait, first read the next part... then close your eyes haha). Make a fist with your right hand. Now say in your head: "Open my hand. Open my hand." Keep your hand closed. "Open my hand. Open my hand. Open my hand."
Your hand remains closed because you decide it. Even when you’re telling yourself inside your mind to open it.’
At that point in time—and ever since—this idea has stayed in the back of my mind. When I sat on the couch at night, tired and craving that bowl of chips, it helped.
When I sat on the couch at night, tired and craving that bowl of chips, it helped.
Knowing that my thoughts couldn’t make me move meant I didn’t need to resist them as much. I didn’t need to fight them because, in the end, I was the one making the decisions.
The deeper understanding comes from knowing a bit more about how the mind works.
I always imagine our mind as a cornfield. A beautiful large field with corn as tall as a grown man. There’s one path leading from the edge of the field all the way to the center, a well-worn path where no corn grows. When we stand at the edge of the cornfield, it makes sense to walk the easy path.
But what if this is the path that we don’t actually want to walk?Maybe it’s overrun with rats or nests of bees?
Now imagine our mind as this cornfield, and the path is a thought we've thought so many times that it became our go-to internal route?
The scientific term for this is neuroplasticity. When we do or think something repeatedly, we strengthen the neurological connections, and it becomes our default way of behaving or thinking. It becomes part of our identity—a familiar, easy path.
Thinking about this cornfield helps me understand what it means to invite new ways of thinking. It’s like creating a new path to the center, cutting down the corn, uprooting it, and ensuring no new corn grows there. In short, it takes time and effort.
The statement "My thoughts have no power over me" reminds me of this. It reminds me that my automatic thoughts will come up, but I don’t have to act on them. There’s no need to hate the old path; I’m just here, building a new one.
2. ‘My Emotions are the Compass to my Needs’
This one is for the empaths and people-pleasers.
Your emotions are a compass to your needs.
Let me explain.
Maslow talked about basic human needs. His pyramid shows that we first need to have our physiological needs met, like water, rest, and food. Then comes the need for safety, love and belonging, recognition, and finally, self-actualization.
Most of these needs are deficiency needs (D-needs), meaning we constantly have to meet them throughout our lives.
Understanding this makes it clearer that our body gives us cues when these needs aren’t met. It's a necessity to make sure our system can properly operate.
Our emotions are these cues.
So let’s say, I’m feeling upset about my partner being late to our date night. My first response might be to get angry at him for this specific situation: he was late!
‘No one else can meet our needs or make us feel a certain way. We are the ones who assign meaning to our experiences.. ’
But when I dive deeper, I realize I have a need for recognition (and respect), and I’m interpreting his lateness as a sign that he must have no respect for my time.
If this to you seems like I’m blowing the situation way out of proportion, bear with me. To me, it’s really about bringing it back to basics. It’s not about him being late—it’s about this need I have to feel seen.
I should add here that no one else can meet our needs or make us feel a certain way. We are the ones who assign meaning to our experiences.
My partner could tell me he loves me a thousand times, but if I don’t give that the meaning of safety, I won’t feel safe.
The statement "My emotions are the compass to my needs" has helped me tremendously in my relationship.
When I share with my partner the need behind the emotion I’m experiencing and how I interpret his behavior, he understands better what’s behind my anger or sadness. The statement helps me inquire within myself: What is it that I actually need?
3. ‘I can Work my Mind through my Body’
Eckhart Tolle put it so well: "We can't fix our mind with more mind."
It’s very unlikely that, when I’m anxious, I’ll be able to think my way out of anxiety. I do want to add that it depends on the structure of my thought practice. Sometimes, structured reflection (like journaling) can help shift a mental state.
But we often underestimate the power of the body. I’ve been working as a massage therapist for almost eight years, and I’m still learning this.
By shifting my physical state, I can shift my mental state. In a way, we all know this. Think of an intense workout, a soft yoga class, or a massage. You leave feeling completely different than when you walked in.
How many times have I tried to fix my stress by making to-do lists, micromanaging my life to calm my mind? (Raise your hand if you do this too.)
‘Okay, I just need to do these 55 things, and I think I’ve got it all covered... Oh wait, I forgot to do laundry.’
It left me feeling more stressed and tense than before. What does help me is shifting my state.
A few go-to’s for me are:
Temperature
Movement
Breathing.
Taking a hot or cold shower, or going for a walk, even for just five minutes, renews me.
Going for a run or doing a workout on YouTube often clarifies things quickly.
And the most powerful tool of all: the breath.
When we’re stressed, the first thing we compromise is our breathing.
When we’re stressed, the first thing we compromise is our breathing
Breathing fully and deeply is a true game-changer.
During out holistic therapy this is what we focus most on. How can we shift how we’re feeling inside, by doing something on the physical level?
I also want to mention that I haven’t mastered the full potential of these statements.
Overall, they’re like little guides, disguised in linguistic form, whispering in my mind when I need them.
Oh, I should just take a deep breath here.
Oh, I want to watch a movie, but I also have a need to show up for myself and finish this project.
Oh, I want to stay up late and watch memes, but I know I’ve been doing this all week.
All good—let’s go to bed.
That’s it for this week!
I am curious to hear about the statements that changed your life.
Comment down below or send me a message sharing your experience and let’s learn from each other!
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